Forever young

Giant meep- S, V and N are off tomorrow. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. yes.no.shit.scared.happy.sad.splerge.hyper.love.affection.excitement.no.die.uni.bleh.meep.
Essentially currently listening to stupidly nostalgic songs feeling sad and scared that they are leaving. S in particular, after this summer, seperation is really unwelcome. But I know she wants to go and that the fresh start will be good for her and thats good, it is, just crap am I going to miss her!
Today's tea was lovely, incredibly well done and definately needed as a last hurrah. Feeling huge gratitude and love for those who made the photoboard for me- it's a lot easier to go to university supported by such a strong loving group from home.

I wish she was here to see her leave. Missing her more right now; these milestones demand her presence. Can't word my next thought- it's somewhere between these two places

"I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner. "

and

"I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush"

But the essence of the next thought is comforting, or of a not complete loss.

That makes no sense and sorry for the cheeky pinching soph, I clearly need to read more.
Good luck, good bye and good night.

We are young, we are free

So last night I went to my first leaving party... Seeing as how I hadn't really twigged that that actually meant that Chambers was leaving pretty sharpish it wasn't too painful. I have however now glanced for a moment [ not at all ready to have a long hard look at reality ] at the fact and frankly it sucks. Summer has finally ended and University has dawned upon us: Crikey Mikey! Corr Blimey! Cripes! Goodness Gracious! and Fricking Hell How has this happened?!.
I'm going to miss her a fair bit and actually all of them. In particular the departure of 2 special beans next saturday rather scares me. In fact one of them has basically been next door all summer so how I shall cope with her jaunting off down south I do not know.
Right now= nostalgic, nervous, happy, sad.
This is 2 and a half weeks [ actually 2 and a day but we are going to say and a half or I might die of fright] before I leave and the migration of my world to educational institutions across the country has begun. =O

Only my dad will get my url...

First post, a quick one as I am writing this now at 2.30 am...
I feel like I'm living [ well this feeling crops up around 11pm ] at the end of Christmas day... You know- around 8pm Christmas day you've opened all your presents, the lunch has been eaten and you know Christmas is almost over for another year. So you stay up ridiculously late refusing to let go of 2 months worth of excitement and build up [ well still I spend about 2 months excited about Christmas] and cling to the end of the day. And thats how this waiting to go to university business is. I know my time at home is limited and so at the end of each day I don't want to go to bed because I know that if I do I am one day closer to the big day. And that scares me shitless.

Right, outlet over as sleep is probably a sensible idea.
To those who read my last blog- I couldnt continue it as I can't put into words the thing that happened and I couldn't just continue this documentation of my life without some kind of record of it- to continue that stream of conciousness [of sorts] without talking about it would have been false. Thus avoiding the issue entirely by opening an entire new one- which hopefully my parents etc will read as I go off to university...
<3